Once upon a time, you dress so fine.
You wrote the songs that rhyme in your prime.
You played your guitar that made you a star.
Traveling near and far in a chauffeured car.
You used to be so amused.
But now you wander the stage, so confused.
Your dressing room snack table’s filled with bran and prunes.
Your prostate is on fire and your dentures are loose.
Singing “Everybody Must Get Stoned”,
But the band is playing “Lay Lady Lay.”
How does it feel?
To move your bowels like passing steel?
And need to replace a hip bone.
While the kids signed you into a home.
Like a rolling gall stone.
Usually, this is the part of the song when Bob breaks into a harmonica riff; but he won’t because he can’t find it. His manager hid it from him because of Bob’s COPD. Bob, however, swears he left the harmonica along with his car keys (which his daughter took away) back stage at the Eastown Theatre in Detroit. Nobody has the heart to tell him the place closed in 1973.