You waited all year, the excitement building, the anticipation nearing fever pitch, the speculation non-stop. Who is the winner of this year’s The Quo Vadis? Satan’s Stool Sample Award, a recognition of a person so obnoxious, so vile, so contemptible, that nothing they deserve more is a steaming pile of black excrement from the darkest of Dark Angles?
There is no one who better exemplified these character failures in 2016 better than Hillary Rodham Clinton.
But Hill didn’t win this year’s Satan’s Stool Sample Award for the reasons you may think.
That she sunk to the lowest depths of civility, abused with relish her obsequious, boot-lick staff and supporters, and became the pin-up gal for the snotty Washington, D.C. and media elites as she steered her billion-dollar presidential campaign into an iceberg named Trump had nothing to do with being bestowed with this dishonor. Neither did her home-brew private email server that opened up the closest-held secrets of our government to the prying eyes of hostile regimes, or that she lied so often about so many things that even she lost track of what was real and unreal.
And it wasn’t because of her Crown Royal-fueled meltdown once her Wisconsin and Pennsylvania Blue Wall of Inevitability atomized, when she hurled at her campaign staff not only invectives, but all objects not nailed to the walls and floors of her $15,000-a-night hotel room, and was so hysterical and unable to speak without slurring to the thousands of supporters awaiting her at the glass-ceiling-safe Javits Center in New York City that she ordered the bruised John Podesta to tell everyone there to go home.
That’s not why.
But before we go into how she bested all global malefactors for this award, she does deserve one tip of the hat. Let’s step back and thank Mrs. Clinton for her graceful, heartfelt, and patriotic words of unanimity in the days following the election that encouraged her crestfallen supporters to join her in getting behind the new president and pulling together so he would be successful for the sake of the country. For example:
- How she admonished Matthew Blanchfield, the owner of 1st in SEO, an Albuquerque, New Mexico internet company, for telling his customers who supported Trump that “you are not welcome in 1st in SEO and we ask you to leave our firm.” Boy, did she set him straight.
- Her vociferous reprimand of Grubhub CEO Matt Maloney who sent out an internal email ordering similar Trump supporters among his employees to resign. She ripped him a new one.
- Likewise, her most recent denunciations of I’m-With-Her disciples who slut-shamed Trump-designated Electors of the Electoral College, who threatened Trump supporters in the workplace and on the streets, and chased Young Republicans off campuses. And what about her chastising the café owners who posted signs indicating they will not serve Trump voters (If one snuck in, they agreed not to put anything in his or her food. What humanitarians!), or the Jet Blue flight passenger barking out foaming-mouth insults at Trump’s daughter Ivanka in front of her children. Hill gave them all such rebuke for their irredeemable and un-American attitudes.
In the true spirit of national reconciliation and public service, Madam Secretary sallied up to the TV cameras and called for an immediate halt to this partisan nonsense, insisting her supporters accept the results of the election with grace and dignity. She even urged campaign . . .
Oh wait . . . no she didn’t. Never mind.
In fact, since the election, Mrs. Clinton remains stone silent as her campaign acolytes and media sycophants have barraged the nation with a flood of excuses why she lost and why the nation should not accept Donald Trump as the duly and fairly elected president. Her evaporation from the public scene and failure to tell supporters to knock it off and suck it up appears to have been the implied marching orders of a coordinated effort to diminish the incoming administration, laden it with illegitimacy and prevent any “normalization” of The Donald. This is in order to prevent any new administration successes and lay the groundwork for a mid-term impeachment.
We have heard excuses such as:
- It’s that darned Constitution’s fault because of the Electoral College.
- It’s FBI Director James Comey’s fault for being too nosey.
- It’s because we can’t trust voters or voting machines, so we need recounts even though there’s no evidence of voting irregularities (except in California, but let’s not go there).
- States allow too many angry, alt-right white men to vote.
- It’s WikiLeaks’ fault.
- Fox News, the Wall Street Journal, Breitbart and Rush Limbaugh report so much fake news.
- Trump supporters really are deplorable.
- It’s the fault of misogynistic women who don’t appreciate Hillary’s victimhood.
- It’s the Russians’ fault.
- It’s George W. Bush’s fault. (They can’t stop saying this.)
The list goes on, but as Hillary’s Congressional and media cheerleaders continue to reject the election results, declaring without any evidence that she was robbed of a presidency that’s hers by divine right, and that the incoming president must be treated as a disdainful Usurper-In-Chief, Mrs. Clinton shows no interest in having a Nixonian Moment. That was the moment following Election Day 1960 when the phantom graveyard constituencies of Chicago and Texas helped elect John F. Kennedy president. When presented with air-tight proof and urged to contest the results, Richard Nixon refused insisting the country faced far too many global and domestic challenges and the incoming president, even the oily JFK, must not be weakened by the raw and divisive ordeal of a presidential election recount. Not only did he nix any recount effort, he ordered his staff to shut up about it and pass the word to supporters to do likewise.
Who’da thunk that when stacked up against Hillary Rodham Clinton, Richard Nixon was the better man. And that’s why we are loathed to announce that she is the unchallenged winner of the 2016 Quo Vadis? Satan’s Stool Sample Award.
Colin Kaepernick – This over-hyped, over-tattooed third-string quarterback for the San Francisco ‘49ers brought himself back to relevancy by insisting on sitting during the playing of the National Anthem prior to games. The media – especially the neon-suited intellectual dwarfs at ESPN — swooned when Kaepernick said his purpose was to protest the inherent racism of the United States and the dire need to bring change in our governing institutions, although he himself did not vote in the general election.
The Cast of the Broadway Play, Hamilton – At a curtain call following a performance attended by vice-president elect Mike Pence, the cast disregarded tradition of not singling out a member of the audience for ridicule and took a page from the John Wilkes Booth method of political theater expression to admonish Mr. Pence in front of his daughter. Actor Brandon Victor Dixon read a statement saying the cast represented “the diverse America who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us, our planet, our children, our parents, or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights.” Upon hearing it, Mr. Pence turned to his daughter saying, “That’s what democracy sounds like.” Of course, democracy would have sounded better had Mr. Dixon and the rest of the cast found the time to exercise their unalienable right to vote in the general election, which they didn’t. That’s what hypocrisy sounds like.
Amy Schumer and Lena Dunham – Like, you really need it spelled out?
Mylan Pharmaceuticals, Inc. – The maker of EpiPen has jacked up the price of this potentially life-saving medication for children and others facing fatal allergies by 15 percent every quarter since the end of 2013. According to the health insurance data firm Connecture, a two-pack of the epinephrine-filled devices went for $56.64 wholesale in 2007. Now it’s jumped to about $500, an increase of 544.77 percent. (A two-pack sells in Canada for $100.) To dampen public outrage, Mylan just this week rolled out a generic version of its own product that would cost about $300, half of the wholesale price, it said. In October, Mylan had agreed to a $465 million settlement with the U.S. Department of Justice and other government agencies to resolve claims that it wrongly classified EpiPen devices as generic drugs under Medicaid. The classification allowed Mylan to pay a lower rebate to states “and reap huge profits at the expense of taxpayers,” according to a letter sent by Sen. Richard Blumenthal to the Justice Department, urging it to reject the agreement. Heading into 2017, Mylan faces a number of lawsuits connected to the pricing, including a possible class-action lawsuit.
Ryan Lochte — American swimmer and international menace Lochte traveled to the Rio 2016 Olympics to represent the United States, but managed to earn a gold medal for shame instead. The web site Complex.com described it best: “Lochte and his fellow swimmers pulled a total frat-douche move when they got drunk and trashed a gas station. Once caught, Lochte lied to authorities and media about being held at gunpoint by a local. Some poor innocent guy probably would’ve been punished for it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling surveillance cameras.”
Congratulations to our award winner and Dishonorable Mentions. You can leave a comment on our selections, or offer your own. There’s no guarantee, however, Mike will read it.